Horse Quotes and Captions for Instagram

Here are about 150 horse captions, all written for this page and free to copy, change or shorten. They are grouped by the kind of photo you are posting, from the mud-covered grey to the last picture of an old friend. None of them are famous quotations; if you want Churchill and company, our classic horse quotes are a click away.

Funny

• Emotionally, I am the left hind he won’t pick up.
• He’s not fat. He’s storing summer.
• Spent an hour grooming. He spent four seconds undoing it.
• Paid for a lesson. Learned I have a left leg.
• Clever enough to open the gate. Not clever enough to recognise the same wheelbarrow twice.
• Asked for a canter. Received a counter-offer.
• We don’t have a bad side. We have a side we don’t discuss.
• I’d like to thank my horse for the lift and apologise for the steering.
• His hair appointment costs more than mine and he sleeps through it.
• Bathed at 7:00. Rolled at 7:04.
• The vet says he’s in excellent health. So that’s where the money went.
• Very brave about everything except the things.
• New saddle pad. Same horse. Completely necessary.
• He has a rug for every kind of weather. I have this jumper.
• Technically a pony. Legally a menace.
• The ears say yes. The rest of him hasn’t decided.
• I came, I saw, I was told to do it again with more inside leg.
• One of us has seen the hairdresser, the dentist and the physio this month. It wasn’t me.
• He’s not ignoring me. He’s prioritising the grass.
• Mud 1, white socks 0.
• Ran out of carrots halfway through this photo shoot. You can tell which half.
• Dressage: walking around politely while panicking.

Heartfelt

• The quietest place I know has a heartbeat and smells of hay.
• I kept my promise to the eight-year-old me.
• Some days we train. Some days we just stand together. Both count.
• He doesn’t know what kind of day I had. He fixed it anyway.
• All the patience I own, I learned at the end of a lead rope.
• Not my whole life, but the part that makes sense of the rest.
• Lucky is hearing a nicker when your car pulls in.
• I stopped looking for calm and found it standing in a field.
• Half a ton of animal, and the gentlest thing in my week.
• Whatever I bring to the barn, I leave lighter.
• We don’t speak the same language. We have never needed to.
• Still the best decision I ever made with my heart instead of my head.
• She met me where I was, and waited.
• Home is wherever he’s standing at the gate.
• Thank you for every ordinary Tuesday.

Show Day

• Up at 4. Plaited by 5. Questioning everything by 6.
• Walked the course three times. Rode a fourth version.
• No ribbon, big grin, sound horse. Good day.
• The ribbon is for him. The relief is for me.
• White breeches were a choice.
• Remembered my test. Forgot to breathe.
• Clean horse, clean tack, clean round. Two out of three.
• We came for the experience and we certainly got some.
• Thank you to my horse, my trainer, and whoever held him while I looked for my number.
• Number on. Nerves on. Off we go.
• Left it all in the ring. Including a stirrup, briefly.
• First show done. Nobody cried. (One of us cried.)
• Personal best. He has known for weeks. I just found out.
• Judge’s comment: “tense rider.” Fair.
• Whatever the score sheet says, he got the mints.
• Braids in. Game face on. Coffee essential.

Trail Rides and Hacking Out

• Out of office. Between the ears.
• No arena walls, no letters, no notes. Just forward.
• The long way round is the whole point.
• We stopped to look at the view. He stopped to eat it.
• No signal out here. Good.
• Four hooves, one path, nowhere to be.
• Miles are better at a walk.
• Found a hill. Had to.
• Autumn, a loose rein and no plan.
• The trail doesn’t care how your week went. That’s why it works.
• Home by dark. Probably.
• He spooked at a pheasant. In fairness, so did I.
• He chose the pace. I chose not to argue.

Barn Life

• Hay in my hair, in my boots and somehow in my tea.
• Five more minutes at the barn. See you tonight.
• My car is a tack room with a steering wheel.
• Evening stables: the only meeting I never want to end.
• The sound of horses eating hay should be available on prescription.
• Mucked out six stalls. That counts as the gym.
• Barn time doesn’t appear on any clock.
• Smells like haylage and good decisions.
• Dawn, steam off the muck heap and a row of impatient faces.
• The list is long and none of it feels like work.
• Sweeping the aisle like company’s coming. Nobody’s coming.
• Clean bed, full net, fresh water. He is better housed than I am.
• Last check of the night. Everyone chewing. All’s well.
• Barn friends: the people who have watched you cry over a canter transition.
• Farrier day. He gets new shoes and I get the gossip.

Foals and Youngsters

• All leg, no brakes.
• New here. Already in charge.
• Three days old and has opinions.
• He has discovered galloping. He has not yet discovered stopping.
• Mum does the worrying. He does the zooming.
• Long legs, short naps, big plans.
• Whiskers, wobble and attitude.
• Welcome to the world, little one. The grass is good here.
• Tried to scratch an ear with a hind foot. Fell over. Tried again.
• Born at 3 a.m., naturally.
• Small horse, long shadow.

Expecting one? Our gestation calculator gives you a due date to plan around, and the foal colour calculator will tell you what colours to hope for.

Winter

• Frozen fingers, warm muzzle.
• The water buckets are solid and so is my resolve. Mostly.
• Winter coat status: teddy bear.
• Steam rising, frost on the fence, nobody else awake.
• Riding season never ends. It just adds layers.
• He’s wearing three rugs. I’m wearing one glove and regret.
• Breathing like dragons this morning.
• Snow day. He bucked, I laughed, we both needed it.
• Dark when I arrive, dark when I leave, worth it in between.
• Breaking the ice on the trough since November.
• Fluffy, muddy and completely unbothered.

Spring, Summer and Autumn

• Golden hour was made for a chestnut.
• Fly mask on. Dignity optional.
• Bath day. He’s thrilled. (He is not thrilled.)
• Long evenings, short shadows, no hurry.
• Shedding season. I now own two horses, one of them on my jumper.
• First spring grass. I could not get his attention if I tried.
• Autumn leaves, and a horse who thinks each one is new.
• Clipped. He looks smart. The floor looks like a second horse.

New Horse, Anniversaries and Birthdays

• Signed the papers. Hands still shaking.
• Day one. Hello, you.
• One year of you. I have aged five and wouldn’t change it.
• Not borrowed, not leased, not a lesson horse. Mine.
• We didn’t fit at first. Look at us now.
• From “I can’t catch him” to this.
• Five years ago he wouldn’t go near a trailer. Today he loaded himself.
• First canter. Still smiling.
• Back in the saddle after too long. He remembered. So did I.
• Happy birthday to the one who gets all my carrots and most of my wages.
• Twenty years old and still first to the gate.

Not sure how old that is in human terms? Try the horse age calculator.

Old Horses

• Grey around the eyes, sharp as ever.
• Retired from work. Not from opinions.
• He has earned every slow morning.
• Thirty, and still tells the youngsters where to stand.
• Old horses know things. Mostly where the treats are kept.
• Every year we’ve had is in that face.

Goodbye Posts

• You carried me further than you knew.
• The stable is quiet. My heart isn’t.
• Thank you for every mile, old friend.
• I got the best of your years. I hope I gave you the best of mine.
• One halter on the hook. I can’t move it yet.
• You were never just a horse, and you knew it.
• Run easy now. No more flies, no more gates.
• He taught me to ride. Then he taught me everything else.
• The field looks wrong without you in it.
• Off to his new home today. Be as good for them as you were for me.

Short Ones

• Best seat in the house.
• Ears forward. Always a good sign.
• Current view.
• This, please. Every day.
• Sunday, sorted.
• Him. That’s the caption.
• Mud, sweat and peppermints.
• Less talk, more trot.
• Found my speed. It’s his.
• Just add hay.
• Hooves and good news.

Getting More From a Caption

• Make it yours. Swap “he” for “she”, put the horse’s name in, change “barn” to “yard”. A caption with the horse’s name in it reads like yours and nobody else’s. (Still choosing one? We have more than 200 horse names.)
• Say what’s in the picture. Add alt text describing the photo, so people using screen readers get to meet your horse too.
• Credit the photographer. If someone else took it, particularly a show photographer, tag them and check that you are allowed to post it.
• Check the background. Before posting, look at what else is in shot: an unfastened girth, a missing helmet or a stable you would not want strangers to be able to find.

And if the horse will not stand still for a photograph at all, the avatar generator will draw you one that does.